Ever since I became a mother, I have felt all the pressure motherhood brings. I became so different with taking care of my kid that others sometimes questioned my ways. I can’t blame them. The things they see that I do are often unusual. But I don’t care. I will take care of my child the way I know how. I am confident that I am not doing motherhood wrong.
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The Stigma
Often, people’s judgments come from the things they don’t want to accept. The problem with their criticism of my motherhood method is that they do not understand why I chose it and are unaware of the positive results my ways give. They think I am harsh, unreasonable, and impractical.
For example, how I handle my child when it comes to learning a lesson. As a mom, I know the danger of letting my kid go out and explore. I understand the risk of allowing him to do anything on his own. However, my idea of teaching my son a significant lesson is through experience. I do not want to waste my time trying to tell and convince my child to do this and that. If he thinks he’s capable of doing something, go! I am not going to tell him what to do. If he succeeds, he knows he’s working on the right path. If he fails, he should face the consequences of his actions.
My son’s strong and enthusiastic behavior has nothing to do with the influence of his peers or surroundings. It is merely from his will to try and learn new things. So regardless if he listens to whatever I say, it’s ok. I won’t mind. As long as my son learns and understands his responsibilities towards his actions and decisions, I won’t care about other people’s judgment.
They were wrong when they said that what I was doing would make my son disrespectful. Because as far as I am concerned, my child knows how to find the courage and own his mistakes compared to other children who refuse to admit they are wrong and eventually hold on to their ability to lie because they’re afraid their parents would punish them. Thus far, I am proud to say that my son knows how to admit his mistakes and apologize without even trying to force him to do it.
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Another example of my way of parenting is allowing my child to have tantrums even in public. I remember one time I was being called out in the grocery store because my child was crying hysterically on the floor while I was in line for the counter. A woman said that as a mother, I am responsible for my kid’s behavior and that allowing my kid to act that way shows that I am not in control.
She’s only correct in one thing – I am a mother responsible for my child’s behavior. But as a mom, I acknowledge my son’s emotional distress. Therefore, allowing my child to roll over the floor while hysterically crying doesn’t mean I am not in control. I am simply letting my child release his anger and frustrations and know that despite his actions, I will never give in to his demands.
I don’t care if people are getting annoyed or irritated at that time because I only want to focus on one thing. That is to validate my child’s emotional dysfunction. And if they are used to treating their kids as individuals who are forced to behave as adults, I am not. I prefer my child to act like that so he can know the difference between good and bad behavior. And no, not talking him out of his tantrums do not mean I am a weak mom. It just means that I understand that my child requires a different kind of outlet to express their emotional pain.
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Lastly, I do get a lot of criticism for spanking my kid. People think that spanking means physical torture to the kid. But for me, that is where I get the authority I need from my child. It reminds me that I am still in charge of the relationship, and my son has to obey. I use spanking when my kid is out of control and can’t seem to handle his problematic manners.
My idea of a spanking goes back to the opposite of my mom’s handling of me. I understand the physical pain it brings because, as a child, I also endured some of them. However, its importance in my parenting style is essential as it serves as a ground for punishment for some of my son’s uncontrolled negative behavior.
Final Thoughts
I know I am not perfect, but I am also not wrong in my parenting ways. I am a mother who only wants what’s best for her child. And since these methods work for me, I don’t think I owe anyone an apology or explanation for my motherhood ways.