December 27, 2018

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Give Us Alienated Parents Some Hope

I hate to ask for help.  Always have.

I need help attaining peace.  How do I do it when I wonder about the emotional safety of my daughter?

Some moms I’ve talked to have reported that their teen daughters are cutting themselves.  One mom told me her daughter had been suicidal.

In Kimber Adam’s memoir, The Parentectomy, Adams talks about how her high school/college age son, the oldest of the four children she was alienated from, was put on all kinds of meds by a psychiatrist who refused to even talk with her.

Yes, Parental Alienation would make anyone want to numb themselves from the pain.  So far, I have avoided meds, but I certainly have felt there were days I could not get through.  There have been days that the floor felt like the only place for me.

We parents know are chemical substances out there, both legally prescribed and illegal, that suppress inner pain.  There are compulsive behaviors one can engage in to distract from inner pain.  We don’t need that for ourselves, but even more, we don’t want our kids to have to be put in a position where they feel such a need to get through that they engage in risky and unsafe behavior that will only heart their precious hearts even more.

Parental Alienation, like other forms of abuse, leads kids to risky behavior.

Most of all, I need some more hope.

I’m starting to see alienated parents on Parental Alienation Facebook groups share their pain about not experiencing family-friendly family activities with their kids.

We know that our children are missing out, too. My mom, my former mother-in-law, my daughter, and I all enjoy the fun of Halloween. We no longer get to enjoy it with my daughter now that she lives with her dad. (Experts on Parental Alienation have said an alienator will cut a child off from the rest of the family; however, the head therapist at the counseling group making the recommendation for our child custody case ignored this and other clues that my ex was alienating my daughter.)

How does my daughter choose to deal with that & so many other losses?

I’m at a loss for the words to express this real horror.

Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies, says the best two prayers are: “Thank you, thank you, thank you” and “Help me, help me, help me”

Help me, Lord. Help my child. Help others help my child. Help other parents and kids separated from Parental Alienation. Help us hope for the best: reunification. Please reunify us with our kids. We love them dearly, as you know. Help us know how to make this come to pass. Thank you for the sweet times we enjoyed with our child. Please send encouragement & hope. Amen.

My daughter is a John Lennon fan, so the lines, “Give me hope, help me cope; Give me peace on earth…” come to mind.