How Single Moms Can Get Through Pregnancy Without Destroying Their Mental Health

Being a mother is perhaps every girl’s lifelong dream. It often shows in the way they roleplay with dolls and treat them as their children. Some will not even let an hour pass without the dolls in their arms and throw a fit if the parents take them away. 

Despite that, when these girls turn into women, they realize that it is not always easy to find a man they can build a family with. Many of them end up as single parents, especially if their partner bails on them or is too messed up to keep.

In case you become a single mother before giving birth, though, it is understandable how it may harshly affect your mental health. You are at the most vulnerable phase of your life; the family you wished to give your child is already broken before they even arrived. But as much as you may want to give up, you should: 

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Think About Your Unborn Child

The first thing that you should think about is the well-being of your unborn child. Many experts have stated that a baby could feel everything the mother feels when they’re in your womb. So, if you are restless, they become restless. When you are always crying and depressed, it may have an adverse effect on them. 

Because of that, you need to try to be happy all the time. Force yourself to feel that way if you must since the primary goal is to help your unborn kid develop healthily. If you need to watch many comedies or be around your loved ones or go on a trip, go for it. There should be no room for anything that may jeopardize your baby’s development. 

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Consider That Single Parenting Might Be Better For You

No woman wants to be a solo parent from the beginning – not even adoptive mothers. The need to have a partner in life strengthened when you created a new life with someone special. However, there are also instances when it is better to be single instead of coupling with your child’s father. 

The perfect example of that is what Jenna went through in the Waitress musical. Assuming you hadn’t seen the show when it was still on Broadway, you should know that she was a waitress with a verbally – and almost physically – abusive husband. When Jenna realized that she was pregnant, she felt so scared about it. It didn’t help that her good-for-nothing husband asked her not to love their baby more than him. Jenna waited until she was in the delivery room to tell her husband that she wanted him gone, but she did it anyway. 

I know a lot of women like Jenna in the world. And believe it or not, it is always more ideal to raise a child alone than to expose them to such toxic relationships. 

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Allow Your Loved Ones To Support You

A common reason why a pregnant woman may find it challenging to deal with singlehood was a lack of support from friends and family. That is especially true if they turned their back on their loved ones, only to be betrayed by the man they picked over the latter. Pride may also get in the way as they want to prove to everyone that their pregnancy is not a mistake.

Still, here’s a newsflash: not everyone is too evil to keep on taunting you after knowing what you are going through. Perhaps your family is upset because of what you have done to them. That’s okay; they have the right to feel that way. However, if you are scared of getting rejected by them when you wish to come home, there’s a high likelihood that it is a baseless fear.  

You need to believe that some people genuinely care about you and your baby, and all there is to do is to let them in your world. This way, being a single mother won’t feel too impossible anymore.

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Deal With Negative Thoughts Much Later

Are you still unable to get over your breakup with your unborn child’s father? Do you often lie awake at night and think about what has gone wrong in your relationship? 

Although I would typically recommend facing your problems head-on, it may not be suitable for pregnant mothers. As mentioned above, an unborn child can feel every emotion that the mom experiences. Dealing with negativity while your baby is still under the developmental stage in the womb may cause complications later. 

If you can wait to do that until your due date, that will be incredible for your child.

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Bottom Line

No one blames you for becoming a single mother during your pregnancy, whether you have chosen to be one or not. If anyone does that, pay zero attention to them because their comments will do nothing but mess with your head. Aside from being healthy, you need to be mentally stable so that you can prepare to be a mom and dad to your baby.

Good luck!

How To Keep Your Marriage Strong After Having Children 

One popular myth about parenting is that children can boost the happiness of the couple. While many couples strive to have children in their lives, having one doesn’t necessarily add to the overall happiness of the couple. In fact, having a child may even decrease that happiness.  

 

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  Continue reading “How To Keep Your Marriage Strong After Having Children “

Brainwashing Children In Fighting For Custody

Why should a child be caught between warring parents?   Why is his innocent mind to suffer the consequences of immature actions and decisions of adults?

 

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It is a heartbreaking scene to see a child coming in front of a judge inside a courtroom, having to choose between his two beloved parents.  It’s damaging enough that the two adults are not getting along well, and these adults make things more detrimental to the poor child making him lose one of his parents.  

 

Continue reading “Brainwashing Children In Fighting For Custody”

Rebuilding Your Family Through Therapy

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Psychologists attribute a person’s behaviors and attitudes to how they are brought up. People who have psychological problems tend to manifest because of childhood trauma such as parentectomy or parental alienation. Thus, building and establishing a healthy family starts with a firm decision to improve. One of the keys to rebuilding family connections is through therapy. There are several ways to do it; some go to a therapist online or go through conventional face-to-face therapy. No matter what the avenue, here are just some of the perceived benefits of therapy for rebuilding your family.

Family Therapy Vs. Individual Therapy: Knowing The Difference

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 Individual therapy focuses on how a person can cope with his existing conditions and improve his day-to-day life. Individual therapy mainly consists of talk therapy wherein the therapist will engage the client to talk about his life experiences and difficulties. The therapist would then recommend specific courses of action to the client. If necessary, the therapist also gives certain medications to the client to cope with anxiety or insomnia.

On the other hand, families who have been through long periods of emotional distress due to dysfunctional family members, financial problems, or sudden deaths may opt to go through family therapy. Judye Hess, Ph.D says that, “group therapy can be more powerful and mutative than individual therapy.” Family therapy is a long-term commitment to improving family dynamics and emotional conditions through the use of psychotherapy. Family therapists usually go for a more encompassing approach to therapy, as compared to individual therapists. Family therapists dig deep to uncover the family’s underlying causes for dysfunctionality.

“Family therapy says there are a number of people who are impacted by a problem, so everyone should work together and support the individual who has the problem,” explains Anthony Siracusa, PhD Families couldn’t be more different from one another. Each family has its idiosyncrasies and approaches to certain things. There is no cookie-cutter approach to family therapy. Thus, the therapist’s primary goal is to help the family rebuild itself by incorporating best practices into the family’s system.

Benefits Of Family Therapy

You already know the key differences between individual therapy and family therapy. But what will convince you to try family therapy? Here are several of the key benefits your family will enjoy. 

  1. Build Better Lines Of Communication

Several families have trouble keeping their communication lines open. In this fast-paced world, it’s easier to text someone next door than talking to your father downstairs. Family dinners are becoming less frequent, with more spaces in between, as compared to about 30 years ago, when cellphones were not yet generally circulating in public. Building lines of communication take work. Sadly, a lot of families don’t put in much effort anymore. However, the bright side is that through family therapy, the therapist will walk you through the process of building better communication between and among family members.

2. Create Better Understanding Of Each Family Member

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When you are born into a specific family system, you tend to grow up assuming that every family in the world works that way. However, as you grow older, you learn that that is not the case: every family has its system. In every family, each family member has a different role. That role may have not been communicated well to other members of the family. Other family members may have unmet expectations regarding other family members that could cause tension inside the family. For example, a child may have been building resentment towards a parent for failure to meet their expectations. Family therapists could act as a mediator during family therapy sessions.

3. Cope With Specific Issues Inside The Family

At times, there may be issues specific to the family that has remained shoved under the bed for years. If left unresolved, these issues may have resulted in unnecessary tension between family members. These issues can be very varied. It can include substance abuse, anger management issues, or self-harm. What the family therapist does at this point is to help the individual first cope with these issues, then the family comes in. The family should be able to act in concert to help that family member. In correcting bad habits, the family should be a person’s first line of support. Lynn Ponton, MD points out that,”Family therapy also helps create a sense of teamwork and reduce the sense of “it’s the child’s problem, not mine.”

Family therapy can be the best option for families in deep emotional turmoil. These troubled families may have long neglected their problems, to the detriment of their psychological health. When children are brought up in a problematic household, they tend to grow up as troubled and distressed adults. To break this cycle, family therapists can help families cope with their issues, help them understand their roles, and establish better lines of communication.

What Parentectomy Can Do To A Family

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Intentionally removing another parent in the child’s life is said to be one of the most unfortunate incidents in a child’s life. By nature, children look up to both of their parents for support financially, emotionally and physically and diminution of the presence of one parent can cripple the growth of the child and at the same time can lead to mental health problems. The removal of a parent in his/her child’s life is termed as parentectomy. It usually happens after a divorce or legal separation.  There are varied reasons for parentectomy but it is generally done by the primary caregiver parent or someone who has full custody of the child. “The end of a marriage typically unleashes a flood of emotions including anger, grief, anxiety and fear,” Lisa Herrick, PhD and co-authors wrote.

Continue reading “What Parentectomy Can Do To A Family”