5 Warning Signs Of Parental Alienation
What Is Parental Alienation?
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Parental alienation is an intentional attempt of a parent to pull his/her children from the other parent, with the goal of destroying the other parent’s relationship with the children. According to John M Grohol, PsyD, “Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification.”
This attempt is usually done for several reasons, one of which is to punish the other parent because of something he/she had done. Or it may be that the alienating parent has some kind of a mental illness that he or she does not want to face and does not want to deal with the situation rationally.
Also known as parentectomy, parental alienation typically progresses over time, and there are several distinct signs that are associated with the syndrome.
Warning Signs Of Parental Alienation Syndrome
- Encouraging Anger Toward Parent 2. When a mother wants to get even with his husband because of something he did, an example of alienation is her speaking ill about her husband directly to her kid or children. “In essence, the children are gaining acceptance from the narcissistic parent as they complain about the target parent,” wrote Sharie Stines, PsyD. She may blame their father for not being able to give them what they need because ‘your dad spent the family money on his new date.’ If the alienating parent couldn’t be more blunt, she/he would make a direct comment, such as, “Your dad/mom left us without trying to work things out with me.”
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Both statements are intended to make the child feel angry toward his other parent. The alienating parent obviously uses his/her child to cause pain to the other parent.
- Conveying Negative Messages About Parent 2. Without saying it directly, the alienator uses body languages or gestures that will make the child think badly of his other parent. For instance, when the child asks parent 1 if parent 2 is going to be home for the Holidays, and the alienator (parent 1) doesn’t say anything and just looks at the child sadly. Kids are smart and can easily sense something, even if they’re not told details. They also become more curious when gestures are shown to them, and he surely would know that look on her parent’s eyes. He would then think that parent 2 wouldn’t be there for the Holidays for some reason more important than him.
- Divulging Mature and Sensitive Details With The Kid. The legal issues of a separation or divorce are things that no child should deserve to know, and talking about these so the child will take sides (with the alienating parent) is an easy way to do it. This does not only push the child to think bad about the other parent, but he will most likely feel partly responsible for what happened to his parents.
- Refusal To Co-Parent. Despite the divorce, parents should talk about co-parenting reasonably, and this the alienating parent doesn’t do. Parent 1 refuses to do this, telling his child or children that he just wants peace and no fights between him and the other parent. This sends a negative message to the children, as they will think that the other parent is the reason why they can’t be a complete family because of his/her temper.
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- Accusing Parent 2 Of Abuse. This may be too way below the belt, but yes, some alienating parents will go as far as accusing the other parent of physically and mentally abusing them, which is the reason why their relationship did not work. If the children are still very young, they wouldn’t try to comprehend this and will immediately blame and be angry at the other parent.
In The End
No matter where we look at it, the children suffer the most from parental alienation. “Severely alienated children have little if anything positive to say about the targeted parent and often rewrite the history of their relationship with the targeted parent,” wrote Susan Heitler, PhD.
Choosing between two parents because of unresolved issues is quite difficult for them, especially when they’re still too young. Divorce and separation are two issues that can destroy the children’s future and their way of thinking. It is vital that parents be willing to commit to co-parenting to attend to the needs of their children first and foremost. Their lives should not be destroyed because of their parents’ misunderstanding.
Mental Health And New Mothers
Are you aware that the number of women who have reported signs and symptoms of post-partum depression has increased over the years? It means that many new mothers are experiencing some serious mental health problems. Because of this, it is essential to spread awareness on how women can overcome postpartum depression.
According to Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, “There isn’t a solid explanation for why some new mothers go from the blues to full-blown postpartum depression (PPD). The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has suggested that PPD is “likely to result from body, mind, and lifestyle factors combined.””
In this article, we are going to tackle the effective methods on how a new mom like you can accomplish the said goal.
3 Ways To Promote Parental Alienation
Upon deciding to start a family and get married, divorce is the last concept couples entertain in their thoughts. Frequently, couples are concern about the wedding and preparing for their future. However, whether people like it or not, divorce is a fact of life, and the incidence of divorce is quite common. It is normal to feel guilt, anger, and bitterness towards your spouse and life in general when undergoing a divorce process to the point of extracting or alienating the other parent from the child.
Effects of Parentectomy To Children
Divorce is frequently considered a significant life event. Statistics show that 40 to 50 percent of first marriages end up in divorce while succeeding unions have even higher chances of separation. It can affect not only the couples but most especially the children. Many children are deeply affected by the separation of their parents and its aftermath which can lead to different mental illnesses and suicidal tendencies individually if the divorce and custody were viewed as battles with winners and losers. Also, the effects of the divorce might be colossal if one or both parents are bitter and decides that removing the other parent from the child as a form of punishment.
How Parents Plan To Impose Parentectomy
The divorce affects not only the spouses but the children as well. More than anyone, it is the child who is significantly influenced by the situation most especially if they are in their formative years. More than the change of family dynamics, shattered expectations of a family and disruption of routines, it is the removal of a parent or significant family member in the child’s life due to divorce or legal separation.
Damaging Effects Of Parental Alienation On Children
Separation – one of the leading causes of parental alienation. The separation can manifest physically or emotionally.
When there is parental alienation, it’s not the parents who suffer the most but the kids. Majority of the children who are part of a broken family would still hope that their parents would get along in the long run. According to Sharie Stines, PsyD, some families may undergo “Attachment-based parental alienation is a complex and potentially harmful dynamic whereby a parent manipulates their children to avoid, reject, and disdain their other parent. It can be viewed as a symptom of the narcissistic paradigm and is often of clinical concern regarding the child’s healthy development.” But it turns out it’s not as easy as they thought it would be. The worst part is, one of their parents is compelled to alienate the other in the eyes of their children.
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How To Prevent Social Media From Ruining Your Relationships
According to numerous marriages, relationship counselors and sex therapists, sessions nowadays are filled with instances when social media hampers with the clients’ relationships. Examples of this interference with relationships: sharing social media passwords, checking personal messages from these accounts, searching past relationships through social media, being friends with exes in social media platform, etc. and obsessively thinking about suspicious but not incriminating activities of your partner. Experts share that the world’s social media market saturation is at its all-time high at any other era in the human history. It can be categorized as an uncharted territory which is bound to bring up new challenges for the people.
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